Sunday, August 20, 2006


Rectitude, a word that represent the very life that we are living now. Without it we don’t deserve to be called human, and worst still we don’t belong to animals as well. We will stoop lower than the animals. Animals live the ways ordained by nature. They do not swerve from the law of nature. They eat, mate, reproduce and sleep just the way nature wanted them to be. Animals sway from the path of nature only after mixing with man. That’s the power of man, we can even spoil the animals. I have personally seen how a domesticated goat ate fish, rice and ‘murukku’ and left grass as an alternative. After that incidence I began to wonder about the path mankind have taken in the journey of life. Be it as it may, rectitude is the pinnacle of moral jurisdiction. The right living manner is equally important to all of us, not just for a few selected people. Without rectitude we crumble easily and become miserable.
From the moment when sun peep from beyond the horizon till it disappears again unto the same horizon, mankind strive to do things as perfect as possible, as good as one can and as right as possible albeit a number of criminally inclined individuals who chose to live recklessly. The process can be very tedious especially when we become conscious of not doing the right things, which may go wrong and effect many people. In turn, it may become a violation of ‘dharma’ and can bring about bad ‘karma’. The law of nature do not miss even a nanosecond in recording every actions and thoughts of man.
Although there are no gadgets to gauge RECTITUDE, some general rules can be accepted as guidelines to mark the border between good and evil. And again, there are no means to measure what is good and what is bad in real sense as what one consider bad and evil might be part and parcel of another man’s culture. So, it would be wrong to deem another man’s culture as being wrong. We all shun criminal acts such as murder, theft, robbery, rape, aggression, abuse and many more, but do we shun hypocrisy, anger, hatred, laziness, jealousy, abusive behaviors/habits and selfishness especially when these qualities of negativity breeds within us. Some of us may make some self effort to remove these weeds, some thrive on it while some may not even aware that they are the embodiment of all these. Very few have succeeded in destroying these traits to cross the border of ‘mankind’ and achieve the status of ‘kind man’. Kind Man - they are our superiors in human values and as a light house they place themselves to guide us the path of supreme height.
There are different levels of life lived by mankind. Each has a motive to achieve and they wade through troubled water to achieve their objectives. But, how they work towards their goals/objectives in life may decide RECTITUDE. To lead a life wrongly and blame it entirely on ‘Karma’, fate etc is nothing but fallacy. Past karma dictates our birth and tendencies associated with it, but not what will become of us in the future, because we are given the liberty to take charge of our lives in the present which paves the way to future. Its evident that everything in this world is achieved through SELF EFFORT. So when there is tendency towards failure, it just goes to show not much of self effort been exerted to attain the objective/goal. It must be understood that self effort which is not in line with human values is but a mere fantasy. To say that, ‘Karma’ is the cause of me doing this or behaving like this, is an erroneous belief. If our past karma dictates our lives, than what difference do we have in comparison with animals and trees? Daily in our lives we make decisions without any consideration for karma. We decide what to eat, what to wear, what movie to watch, where to go for shopping, what to buy, whom to meet etc….and all these are part of the self effort taken by us but at the most basic level. To meet the requirement of human lives, we have to generate a high standard of self effort encompassing grandeur aspects of life and not the trivial ones. Past karma, yes, to an extent have some impact on the degree of self effort, yet we are given the liberty to always increase our self effort positively for the betterment of all.
Divine retribution or dispensation is just another belief acknowledged as truth by repeatedly declared to be true. Everyone has to follow and practice to achieve something. Nothing comes down blindly in the name of fate. We may at times notice that the present self effort being thwarted by some means, so try to understand and realize that the present self effort is frail. Find ways to strengthen it.
As a house requires a sturdy structure, RECTITUDE requires five pillars of human values namely TRUTH, RIGHTEOUSNESS, PEACE, LOVE and NON-VIOLENCE. Each carries the strength unimaginable and by practicing one with fervent effort, the rest will manifest on own accord. The way we live the inner-self will portray our actions in the world.
SATHYA, as it is, the truth. And nothing can change the truth. Every law of science operates on this basis. Truth is eternal. Sometimes it may be covered with dirt but it will definitely manifest itself one day. Mankind must abide by truth in the form of speech, actions and thoughts. We may claim that sometimes it is impossible to practice truth but as per a wise man’s words, Sathyam Bruyat, Priyam Bruyat, Na Bruyat Sathyamapriyam" (speak the truth, speak sweetly, do not speak unpalatable truth). Sometimes circumstances may prevent us from telling the truth, but remember my dear ones, if your truth can bring harm to others in the form of health, wealth and pride, do not speak.
DHARMA, as it is, the most potent law of nature. Everything in this universe, operates according to the law of dharma. It’s the dharma of the sun to impart light and heat. It cannot run from its duty or responsibilities. But, man have made a hell out of heaven by transgressing every known dharmic laws of the world. The dharma of man are towards his parents/ siblings/ family members/community at large and to himself as well. He has to payback what dharma has given him, and the opportunities are given to serve others and himself with utmost reverence in duty.
SHANTI, as it is, our very nature, the existence. The law of existence is peace. Each and every one of our actions performed are aimed to achieving this shanti. Without this, no one will look forward for another moment in life. It can be achieved only but reducing our excessive desires and learn to live with the most basic desires. There are desires we can do away with and we still can live happily. Peace do not come to those who satisfy the most desires because the nature of mind is that it will keep creating unending ripples of desires. Reduce your wants and the mind will reduce the ripples.
PREMA, as it is, unconditional love. How many of us can impart unconditional love? Not many. This requires greater strength and faith that, there is a GOD. Unconditional love is the ultimate signature of divine faith. We all love someone at sometimes, some people all the time and hate some most of the time. People say this is human nature. But, I feel this is superimposed on us by us as a defense against unwanted pain and lost. At least we love some people but it would be better if we gradually transcend the barriers and include more people into our fold. As long and conditions are imposed, that long we will live in the well of ignorance. Lets together we grow and embrace more and more people along the way be it someone we despise, be it someone we held high.
AHIMSA, as it is, it makes you a mahatma(great soul). Only great ones can bear the pain and turbulence of the world peacefully. We were given a Gandhi, a Jesus, a Buddha and many more to teach us about ahimsa. Ahimsa in thoughts, words and actions. When we are mocked and ridicule, in the mind rise anger and revengeful thoughts. Cool down. Some say ahimsa is a sign of weakness. Some say otherwise. Practice and find out. Life of great teachers are like open books. Learn from them.
Once the five pillars are there, RECTITUDE will appear. And humble we become, in gratitude we shall bow down to existence for everything given.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Night. A moment I cherished most. Why? I don't know and I don't understand, but the darkness that pervades the sky give me a sense of mysterious oneness with the Creator. The dark firmament of sky above, hides a million secrets only to be revealed one by one by the shining stars above. I am alive when the twilight cross the border and merge with night. Wonders never cease. Union of soul with dark night gives rise to an unknown feeling but a pleasant one. Its a mysterious union, inexplicable but soothing. Darkness means fear for some, but for me, darkness is security. Security from many unexplained feelings.
During my younger days I used to be a nocturnal animal. Oh..what a delightful play, the darkness that reveal the sparkling stars yonder. No fear accompanied me during my lonely journey in the darkness. Layers of hidden lives manifest in front of me in wonderful play. I encountered, during my ramble in the forest at night, animals and insects, which were not possible to see during the day. His play is surely majestic. Inseparable from Him.
In the dark night, my soul speaks a language highly poetic. I struggle for words to express the soul language. Most of the moments remain locked in the depth of my mind, as the moments are so subtle and can't be unlocked by words that belongs to any language, but only in language of the silence. This capture within the soul joyous rapture is a collaboration of peace and bliss and I hardly fight to find a release out of it. Yes..the starry nights of my life gone by told me stories of human saga of both hardship and brilliance unparalled. That keeps me going now, exploring the invisible humanity hidden in this darkness, another facet of nature's beauty.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

...............forget not.

Every corner of life is alive. Lively with actions. Everything in nature is responding positively except man. Man conquered by his mind, struggles hard to win the fight against his own mind. In his struggle he is left with little time to live and to appreciate the layers of experience that bypass him.

Today, I sat alone in my office, thinking of many things of the past as well as the present. I wish my past won't leave me as it taught many things of bitter and sweet in nature. The present is left without any choice as my senses survive better 'now than then'. The route I took to reach here was full of thorns and flowers. During the height of depression, the world was against me. Totally against. Everything seemed dead. Except me. I was young and naive then. Karma was not in flow with me. It worked the opposite way. I blamed many. Reasons were completely hidden as to why I must suffer, though I saw suffering all around me most of the time. Lights of hope was partially hidden. Though the rays of brightness occassionally bathed me and in serenity of heavenly bliss it captured me, I had failed to appreciate that beauty, then. Preoccupied selfishly with my own damned suffering, I spent moments shutting from days and a nocturnal animal I became. As what I went through during the tender age shut my emotional and mental strength, night provided a passage to cover those weaknesses such as low self esteem, fear to live etc.

But, the rolling years had something different for me. In time, nothing is permanent but change, and me too not an exception. At different time my temperament changed differently. I tried to understand and recapture the reasons but failure was there waiting for me all the time. Pessimism almost veil me through my years but I managed to crawl out a little. A little out of the unwanted shelter, provided ample of shine for me. Oh.....this is what life all about! Beautiful experiences open the door for further hopes. Only hopes remain to continue the future with faith. Gradual openings of my mind to the world, made me appreciate the daylight ramblings of mankind in their day to day lives. I began to see life from multiple apertures. Everything was just perfect as part of the existence. Only my expectations and anticipation made life a hell for me. Thank god.....the days came finally though a little late. Nevertheless, it injected some hopes for me to continue this life and be where I belong to.

As I venture further into the world, I was made to aware not to thread the razor's edge. As beautiful as it may seem, it can slice you to bleed. So, I was very careful and always secure my actions with firm footing on the better side of life. Wiser I became in my choice. But, not wise enough to face the onslaught of troubles. In the beginning, my self esteem was very much effected. Slowly, strength of soul replaced the timid side of mine. I have not forgotten all that and I will never forget whatever there to come in the future. Life a flow so beautiful with melodious music of bamboo flute, is not just within me but everywhere.

Years have gone by, some dreams fulfilled, some went astray.... so what. I shall continue to dream again but not in hallucination. I firmly rooted myself into a system of belief which suits my temperament and I know I am on the right track. It helps me to develop the Self layer by layer. I understand a lot of things better. Clearer with utmost clarity. Yet am still a human, bound to succumb to many challenges and temptations. Occasionally I allow temptations a little room to roam within the confined thoughts. Challenges I face it calmly, sometimes I react to it like tsunami. What can do I? Only excuse that I have is, am just a human. At least I am aware of that.

As I tread the path chosen, the potholes appeared from nowhere. I fell into some, I leaped over some and some I avoided gently. Potholes are hurdles that make us alert all the time. Being alert is human nature. So be alert all the time. I understood one thing of life, smooth flow is not a dream life. Nothing is straight in nature. And, it will never be. Everything has a flaw if noticed from our perception and comprehension, but existence is perfectly perfect.

Life taught me about itself fantastically but am I ready to face life fantastically? I asked myself. I know not the answer but I am trying my best to pass the test. Karma laid strongly with the mind to find an amicable solution for everything.

Life is a great teacher..............forget not.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

the past......

The night was as mysterious as ever. I was deep into reverie. My future was apparently bleak, a total eclipse. I spent hours sitting on the huge rock beside the thick forest, not minding the sounds from the wilderness. Deeply engrossed in my thoughts, which at times filled with chaotic experiences. I was 20 then. Just completed my high school. Not ready to face the world yet, I isolated myself from my own shadow. That was the 'me' that went through some processes unknown to many.

I hid myself in the darkness just to get away from the tormenting thoughts. Yet, the thoughts never leave alone, and into the depth of darkness I was pushed. A question I posed to the magnificent designer of this universe, why? Why me? Why must I go through all these agonies? In utter silent HE answered me silently.

I roamed the hills of Pengkalan Hulu, in the dimly lit moonlight looking for answers to clear my conscience. In the face of fear, a tiger I fear not but I feared my own thoughts, the rebellious ones that could put an end to many things in life.... Patiently I walked the bare earth, singing the divine glory in my mind, hoping for a solution. But, I was impatient and persistently asking HIM the ruler for many things in life. The darkness imposed in the night, superimposed twice in my life. Sympathy? Empathy? I didnt know which to crave for.

Yet, everyday when everyone in my family silence themselves into slumber, I would march out for a brief negotiation with mother nature. She would kindly accommodate me in her bosom, soothing me with her lullabies and everyday I would return without a scar within and without. As the time ticks away the seconds into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into months and months into years, a little wise thoughts flourished within.

Many things were solved amicably despite unnecessary worries that bugged me for years. Things changed for better and I too changed for good. My moments in the dark nights with mother nature, was surely the best ever in my life. She listened to my every heartbeat. I know that. And, I am here today, after 21 years, breathing in peace, because of Her.