Humanity is, but I don’t belong to any….

I do not belong to rituals

Nor am I belong to any religion

I do not belong to any

If I do, I will betray many.

A path I choose to take me along this life

Yet I know I do not belong to the path choosen
And the path is not mine either

For that is just for me to travel all along

Towards the goal that lies far ahead.

I follow certain traditions not blindly but cautiously

Because my awareness tells me of narrowness which ensue,

By blind following of a tradition with least understanding

I fear I will be caged in this confusion forever.

II

Humanity spans far unto this universe

Not just man, animals too have humanness

I know we have failed many times, yet we disagree

In the name of race and religion we kill many.

The God in the throne somewhere in the highest heaven

And the God omnipresent, yet not in the creation

Together with the God, present in the creation

Are all but our conception of imagination.

We run wild with defensive sickness

I am on the right, mine is the only way

We cry, we lament and we spat at each other

End of the day, we pray to please the silent God.

In happiness we go to sleep thinking the divine is pleased

Leaving our other brethrens suffer in painful isolation

We dream of a future palace in an unseen heaven

With colorful bubbles and angels beautiful.

The heaven within, a hell we make with negativities

We follow the tides which come asailing us

Fighting narrowness without knowledge proper

We can hardly win the tidal waves that comes hither.

 

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Discord

                                 The inclement weather
                                       Cast a gloomy net
                                               Over nature, thus over me too.
               Rupturing the sanctity of my being
                   With assailing rust accumulated over the years
                      The emotional turbulence smiles
                            I know I am riddance of that smile.
The misty sight of the mystery
I ponder as my legs wander
Why the pain, my lord?
            Life gives a lot
                                  unexpectedly
           Too much  
                                 to consume
           Too much
                                 to bear too.
                                                             An insignia I wear within
                                                             Hiding from fearless fear
                                                            The pain, the pain, the pain, I moan.
            Is this all that I wonder
                  With hands clasped in prayer
                               Glued to my heart in symbolic language.
I smile, staring starkly at the gloomy clouds
Whither go you? I asked in silent discordance
The clouds gathered the answer in rainy showers.


I am crying alone.




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Identity

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Elusive she

Graceful indeed the way she soothes me

I sway by the gentleness of her touch

The way she brushes, the way she kisses

Night and day, in admiration her softness I feel.

I wish she is mine forever in this realm

Alas! How selfish I can be to expect so to be

She is the heir of her life, forever she is

How can I be so mean to expect her be mine.

Her swift gaze, a panacea for heated emotions

Her gentle blow, music for nature to dance

Her beauty I cared not very much

Her elusiveness renders me forever blind.

Her reflection I seek in the puddle of water

Hoping to conquer her elusiveness,

The water shy away closing her face

And my love is forever invisible.

I wish she is mine but, that is not to be so

Her name is known as Wind

Without her, my life is nothing

I surrender to her will, Que Sera Sera.

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If cemetery, a library.

If cemetery a library
I know I have tonnes of books
To flip through pages of lives
Searching for story that suits mine.
Each tomb I place my gaze on

Is a book written in time

Encasing many sagas of sweet and bitter

On worn out pages and new as well.

A final chapter concludes

When each bid farewell

To everyone around and with a final dot
The epistle ends with solemn gratitude.

Nobody halt the journey unfinished
Where one ought to stop, there he stops,
Succintly Mother Nature fixes the finishing
Be it a sorrow filled, or happy one.

Each tomb, I place my gaze on

Is a book written in time

They left indelible vibrations in the ether

For others to breathe in stories beyond the tomb
To charter a new chapter for a new book
Every tomb speaks in silence.

Each book here is a precious print

For the divine in each marks the words therein

Each carries a story different

As their life they live, they  see what they perceived.

It is not a zeitgeist of our existence

To refute the strangeness of Mother Nature

Because when she decides to write

In beauty and mystical mystery she writes

And these books too

She writes, beautifully.

If cemetery a library

Each tomb, I place my gaze on

Is a book written in time.

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Old Town – Pengkalan Hulu

Poignant memories

Of a life painted on the walls

Of an old small town,

Like waves assailing me non-stop

From all corners of my memories.

Pleasant ones stay with smile

The unpleasant ones float with tears

Blown by winds of past

The rustic charm of both worlds

Together build a hut in my heart.

The days swallowed by time

Irreversible indeed by no means,

The plausible beauty of mind

Brings back the olden touch

With the scent of the land.

Memories like pages of book

I flipped one by one

And stop longer on this one

To refresh my heart and mind

The images of this old town.

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Disability: Cerebral palsy

The person inside
Raring to go,
Though bonded
For reasons inexplicable.
Beyond the contorted frames
Beneath those twitching faces
The person always there
Raring to achieve the goals.
Alas! so called the society
We all remain weaklings
Our patience tested a thousand times
Yet they teach us they are the best.
They type not 20 words per minute
But, one letter in a minute,
The zest is within, the goal is yonder
And their presence makes the now much better.
Almost daily, we ponder upon many things
Forgetting the wonder amidst us
Ever there to move with us to explore the world
Hardly have we cared to wait and in haste, we leave them alone.
Pain they show not like us
Though frustrated and agitated
In a world full of madness
Where speed and time matters most.
Struggling their way through ours
They try hard to win their days,
With things adapted to their needs
The skills begin to find the way.
Externally everything seems different
But the inner war remains the same as ours,
They are not different by standard of creation
Differently they become because of our ignorance.
They are here to be with us, part of all of us
To teach us the truest sense of appreciation
And, they leave the trail for acceptance
To show us the way towards light, lightly.
Greatest among many
They are souls trapped in extreme limitations
Waiting to rise, if only we care to respect their rights
As enshrined in the nature’s law of dignified equality.


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Karma

Like the unsettled dust
It beats the light and darkness
To reach the recipient
Be it now or later
Be it in any part of the universe,
As cold as the Vostok breeze
As hot as El Azizia
Or interspersed with both
The residue of karma
Leaves us not.
Until the thoughts unwoven
One by one
With each strand dies with an end
No root to hold upon
Until then this unwritten law
Trails us ever.

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Erratic winds

Let the wind rustle my thoughts

And, disperse the clouded knots

I wouldn’t mind at all

‘coz the agitations torment me not.

In every mind thus goes the story

Rippling sapling of thoughts in millions

Hardly one plucked before another grow

This mystery is an unexplained furrow.

To be whisked with hands both

Thoughts are not matter tangible

But, thoughts are matter discernible

By the minds beyond the trap.

That which is rooted firmly

Like that of an eucalyptus tree

If good , will cement us well

If bad, we will bid a sad farewell.

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Time eternal

Stagnant time, an eternal rhyme

Only the clock ticks, not the time.

How true the existence’s paradigm

“You may change

but the existence shall not”.

The moments in linear

Not then or now

It’s either here or never.

It ticks not

Not even for a second

We tick away

In time we passes through

Slowly but surely.

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The other side - life.

Superfluous relationship

A broken bridge

Over river that does not exist.

Pretentious people

Everywhere gathers piously

Exhibiting tawdry smiles.

Weakened by weaknesses

Many cry over evaporated tears

Returning as sorrowful drops.

Delusory ego as shadow

Comes and goes piercing the mind

Like a swing, life goes back and forth .

Darkness is like a curtain

Veils the day with mesmerizing mysteries

Another page yet to be flipped soon with shine.

Smiling alone

I wonder if life is just like an onion

The more you peel, the more you cry.

Only tears remains.

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Let it ripe..its own way.

Everything seems to have its own way

No matter what we may do or say

Things always happen at the right juncture

Unfathomable indeed this game of nature.

Unfathomable indeed this game of nature.

With so many colors and vibration around

He gave us this creation in its fullness

With a canvas called life for each of us

With a canvas called life for each of us

In equal proportion, He gave us all

But, with our mind unequally we perceive all

Between happiness and sorrow, the story we unroll.

Between happiness and sorrow, the story we unroll.

Obtrusive indeed life seems most of the times

Occasionally fades unto oblivion, behind our minds

To compensate it, a mask each one of us wears deliberately.

To compensate it, a mask each one of us wears deliberately.

To keep the darkest moments always far from us

Yet, things remain within our reach

We choose to not to share with any.

We choose to not to share with any

This painting on the canvas called life

It belongs to none but to each of us

Yet we do not belong to where we ought to.

Yet we do not belong to where we ought to

Painstakingly things roll on in this life

With careful steps, let us avoid the razor’s edge

Life is a stream bubbling, not once but many times.

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HE speaks eternally

God speaks in many ways
His means and manners
Mysterious they are, too many
Yet He speaks non-stop.
The mean to grasp and decipher
He placed in man, in his brain
Suturing the mind with spirit
Every attempt made by Him to speak to us.


His languages are many
Too many to mention nor to comprehend
Beyond the incomprehensible, He lies still
Yet He chooses to communicate His will to man.
From the ocean depth and wild rivers
Through the waves and the ripples from rivers
The living creatures therein
He speaks to us in many colors and shapes.


Rising high on earth
The mountains and hills stagnant
He majestically sanctions His language
And, proclaims the grandiose of creation.
The trees of different species
Of big and small, short and tall
The little plants and the tiny grass
His gesture He carries through them all.


The animals on this vast earth
And those which sojourning the atmosphere above
The worms in the earth and the beetles in the tree trunk
Reflect His ingenuity, a language simply subtle.
The murmurs of the wind
This chants a soothing melody
The light and the heat of sun and moon
All speaks the language of Him.


Among the changing seasons
And, amidst rain and shine
God speaks to us in myriad colors
Like the serenity of autumnal moment.
Through tsunamis, earthquakes and typhoon
God speaks too, with gigantic energy
In destruction and reconstruction He speaks loud
Yet, humankind deciphers them differently.


The flutter of butterfly wings
The darting of cobra's tongue
The strength of an elephant
In them all, He engages with His words.
He speaks and speaks
Among humankind, He speaks the most
Through various gestures, expressions and movements
Hardly have we realized that He is speaking non-stop.


He speaks in death
He speaks in birth
He speaks to us
He speaks for us
Think not that He speaks not
His languages, He speaks unceasingly.



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Heart that pines

I passed by her

She smiled at me

Her shadow was long

Lying towards west

She was waiting for someone.

I returned the same way

She was still there

This time her shadow was long too, but,

Lying towards east

She was waiting for someone.

I asked her

“Whom are you waiting for?”

She answered

“My son”.

For a while, stillness permeated the space.

She started again

“People say my son had died in the war.

I don’t believe any of them”.

I composed myself, and asked her again

“How do they know your son is dead?’

She started again

“They say the military said so”.

I composed myself and made a statement

“Perhaps they are right.

The military should know better”

She stared at me, and said loudly,

“How can he who fought for this land die?

His mortality is man made. As a mother

I know well, my son is still alive”

I saw teardrops rolled down her cheeks

“Let the moon come and laugh at me.

Tomorrow the sun will surely come

And my son will also come.”

“I will still wait.

I know in death my son does not succumb.

He is just having a nap after a long war”

“ I know my son will come,

And that day

my shadow won’t cast itself on this earth.

Together with him

I shall eternally be tombed”

“I am proud to say

He is my son, my only son.

And, in between the sobs she struggled to speak

“So much his love for this earth

That this earth part from him not”

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Reminiscence

Thinking back the good old days
When life was a heavenly play
Between school and home
Between movies and friends
Between food and games.


Reminiscing the olden ways and plays
Freedom of the rural fraternity
Flowed liberally from one person to another
Intermittent pains provided hope for bliss
Homework was a nuisance
Teachers were nagging hells
School was a playground
And, classrooms were filled with fun.


Ambitious indeed each and everyone in the class
To become everything possible
Yet without nearing the books
And, completing homework
Hopes and ambitions ran high
Only to be whisked away with poor results.


Life was then a heavenly play
With butterflies to catch and grasshoppers to chase
Climbing trees and jumping into the mining pools
Kites to fly high, and ball to play soccer
Game of hockey and badminton escaped not
Our goal to be champion of the champions
With least efforts, and no pain at all.


The hills of green and the forest in the valley
The wilderness embraced everything wild including us,
Running around playing hide and seek in the rain
While catching the glinting raindrops
With friends, cousins and many others unknown as well.

The life then was a life different
I knew well what I was
But not what I am.




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